Girls talk... Duh!!! Me and mine were talking the other day about men... what else lol. This particular conversation was about the different type of guys we attracted. While most of my friends attract "them"... those are the ones that stay away from me. Ive noticed that the men that are attracted to me tend to age from 26-33 (sometimes older), are all career established, and are either married or in a relationship where they sh0uld be married. Do I talk to them??? Of course lol. Why not??? So this is where we begin to debate.
Guys my age (22 to be exact) are intimidated by me. Why??? Idk. When im out they do stare but will never approach me. While the guys that love that umpf in me ;) and aren't afraid of the handful they can look at and tell I am. Approach me like a man, is sure to make me smile. If I'm out at the club he buys me a drink. If my girls are there with me he buys them drinks as well. If we want seconds he buys. He's a gentleman. He tells me about his situation and gives me the option to continue the conversation. Just because he's spoken for does that means I shouldnt bother??? A LIE!
Let me explain the difference. I dont want a man. So him being in a relationship is perfect. I'm waiting on who im waiting on so he's just there to help past time. FACT. My friends are so against it because they feel like its a disaster in the making. I dont agree. I know how to control my feelings. I give every man what I want him to have. I don't need love... I have it already. He doesnt need to love me because he has it as well. When I do decide that LOVE is what I want to do I will give my unconditional love to a man that is willing and able to love me the same.
All women get attatched at some point in time to the situation that they are in. For some reason or another its inevitable so im not saying that. What I am saying is that I dont want him to leave the situation that he's in. Now there are women that will want the situation that the man is in to end and will go to hell and back to make sure it does. That woman is not me. For what??? I know that he would never leave his situation... and if he would I know that he would leave me just the same. So that is already programed in my head. I dont call them... they call me and for that reason it makes them call me more. I take into consideration that im his get-away. So I save the drama and all the other things he hears at home and try to keep him as happy as possible. He buys me what I want, takes me where I want. Even without me asking he gets me the things he wants me to have. Calls me when "HE" wants and at the end of the night... goes home to sleep by his woman. It works out so perfect.
If his woman ever called me I'd deny it to the end. No relationship will be destroyed on behalf of me. I want to help salvage the relationship because if she leaves you... please note I CAN'T TAKE YOU!!! But I know that she wouldnt leave you. Ya'll would work it out under one condition... I have to go. I accept that.
So it brings us to this... Is it wrong for me to accept a man that is involved with someone? Do you think that its possible to be the outside person and help make someone that already has an inside person happy??? AND men... Do you give a woman the option of dealing with you knowing that you have someone or do you lie and hide it???
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Basically its the game. A lot of females get out of pocket with us men for doing this exact thing and feeling the same way you feel.
ReplyDeleteBut the truth is, really it is wrong! Think about this. If i'm "seriously" involved with a woman. (Note how I said seriously)..What the hell am I doing in a club buying you drinks? Not only you, but ya girls too at that!! Dont no "straight" nigga in america be in the club buying no female a drink with no motives, and no lust behind their actions.. He want something and 9 times out of 10 its what he sees in that damn dress you put on to pull him!
Lets be real. Niggas dont go to the club looking for a wife. (well atleast the ones with common sense). Especially if he already has a main joint. He might be in the club to make money, network, whatever! But there is no doubt that when he sees a female, all he's looking for a is pretty smile and thick thighs. If he aint got no standards he might just take the body and run with it. So all that "how you doin/ tpain can i buy you a drink" b/s aint nothing but him tryna take his first steps to your door step.
Now when you answer the door (accept the drink) you give that man hope for one day being invited inside. Whole time you sippin, he's observing any change in body movement, speach, topic of conversation, all that. Waiting to see if the goose loosens that better judgement ya dig. Some women like yourself are equiped with game so a drink aint just gonna make the vicki's tell the secret, but by you allowing him to buy drinks and chop it with you on anything other than business, you've just added a bag to his closet which is probably already full of drama.
He's now just created another situation to have to cover up from his girl. Which means at some point he has to tell her a lie. If you tell one lie you gotta follow it with another, and another so now that becomes an issue. And while all this is goin on, he's still trickin on you? Think about what type of dude he is to be on some sh*t like that. Then think about how his youngin has to feel knowing that something aint right with this dude. Especially if she really loves this man. Espppecially if thats her husband!
One thing about women, you were born with intuition..IF he out tricking, cheating, or whatever he doing, a woman always senses whats going on and she does one of two things from what i've noticed..Either you try to turn the other cheek and deny it hoping it really isn't what you know it is OR you get the looking for things and you dont stop until you find exactly what you were looking for!
She may call you and you may deny it, but what you gotta realize is once a woman gets to the point where she feels she has to call another woman about HER man/husband, that trust and that bond in their relationship has already been broken.
And you as a woman who respects herself and demands respect dont want to be a factor in that equation. Especially with marriages..If they're not married and the nigga is out doin all this with you, Ay!! shorty need cut that nigga short anyway b/c he aint the one for her! But if they're married, you're playing with fire. Not by what man says, but by what God says.
Them two individuals made vows to God to be together for a lifetime. Granted he's coming on to you and he's the one buying you things. You KNOWING he's married, have to be the woman to say no and not interfer with Gods work. It takes Jesus for most men to stop cheating and be the man of one wife. So you dont want to be the one in the process of this man's struggles and fight to love his wife, hendering him. You may not be forcing him to do anything for you, but you know that he takes interest in you and that interest is nothing but his lust for you. If you entertain that lust it not only makes you wrong with him, it also opens the door to you possibly being overtaken with that same lust.
Even if you feel like you dont need a man, you aint ready, not looking for love, yeah yeah yeah..lol...Believe me, the devil can have you feeling all types of ways for dude and you not understanding how it happened. I've seen it happen to some of the best.
Bottom line...What type of nigga leaves his wife at home and is in the club buying another woman and her friends drinks, or is out buying another woman things at her request? Think about that. A husband is supposed to provide for his home and his family. If he's providing for another woman, he's short changing his family. Thats not a respectable individual. And you being a respectable individual shouldn't want to associate with the total opposite. Right??
Does the sun and the moon shine at the same time? Hell no. You have light and you have dark. They have no association with one another.
And whats done in the dark ALWAYS comes to the light. Its not a good look on your resume. SO cut it out!!! OR im coming to your side of town asap! LOL
lmmfao... JG u r a mess. I just think that theres a difference in me and other women... I really dont want him tommorw if it all boiled down to it. He's just convient today. Tomorrow idc either way. I havent figured out what it is that attracts them but those r the ones that approach me. But I did say my 2009 I wasnt gonna deal with n e... but I swear 70% of the men on my phone have someone 15% are friends 5% is family the last 10% is just whatever lol. I cant help it & from the sounds of it... u want me to be lonely like the rest of my clan does lol...
ReplyDeleteI DEFINITELY AGREE SISSY..!
ReplyDeleteI NEED 2 REMEMBER THIS THE NEXT TIME IM OUT & ABOUT..
IT MAKES ALOT OF SENSE..!!!
LOL...
I DONT BLAME YAH..
GET IT 4 WHAT ITS WORTH & KEEP DIPPING...
BECAUSE IF HE'LL LEAVE HER 4 U..HE'LL LEAVE U 4 DA NEXT CHIQ..! <3
I LOVE YOU J..!
BiBi u see my friend JG dont agree... he going off on me lol. I love him n e way though lol. Its always good to have a mans view on things. I know hes gonna keep it nothing but 100% with me and in the end I know what i need to do. as Taylor would say... I love u toooo much lol.
ReplyDelete*sighs* women!! smh lol jk
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhh finally! I have come across a topic that I see on a daily basis, and as much I would like to go all the way in on this one, time permits me to only address a few things. Let me start with the subject matter that didnt receive any attention at all, but is a main factor to me and that is the guys within the same age range. We live in an age where these dudes have no idea how to carry themselves and be about business. The way black men are portrayed in the media as slam-dunking, whip buying, above the law, let me buy the bar, chicks love a real nigga type of guys, does nothing at all as far young men being REAL established men from a professional and personal sense. The younger guys definately arent trying to hit the club looking for Ms. Right(or they shouldnt be as stated in an earlier response, shout out to you)they are looking for Ms. Tonight and that mentality comes from a lack of positive influence. Whether a guy comes from a home where both parents are still together, or where it is just the woman holding it down doesnt matter if the male influence isnt a positive presence that gives a young man something to emulate or even strive to out do that. He can take care of his mom in every way possible, but God's greatest creation I call woman(or in club terms "Hoes") is not his mother by any means, so why should he treat her as such? That is just another dumb mentality that has plagued young brothers today due to a lack of a real positive influence. But to wrap this part up because ive become somewhat off topic(but will tie back in, I promise), there is no way a young man can have true confidence to approach a female that he may find interest in because, A.) His intentions arent good ones most of the time, B.) It wasnt instilled in him how to truly approach a woman because role models that range from Kobe Bryant to Plies are too busy trying to poke white women, or find a "bust it baby" any and every place they go!
ReplyDeleteNow its time to get the butter from the duck!!! Remember that young man I described earlier, who was lacking confidence and pretty much the basics that are required to approach a woman?? Well there are just two examples im going to use here. Lets say that young guy has grown up and been through some trial and error situations that have tuned up his so-called "game". He has finally done something with himself whether it be through achieving higher education or just hard work to attain some sort of professional status for himself. The only thing is that the majority of guys like this are on the scene socializing or going out and meeting the women who they were once timid about approaching, and when some sort of confidence has risen, it is crushed by the strong, intelligent, hardworking, self-sufficient woman whose beauty spans far beyond her physical appearance. When a man comes across this woman, "He no like thhhaaatttt" and leaves with the rest of his pride looking for another opportunity. The next guy has lead a similar life, but he has found someone that he feels that he wants to settle down with, and she is that chick that has been there from day one, or has just opened his eyes up a little bit. well eventhough he is happy, there is a part of him that isnt complete. when he was the age of lets say 22-25, things really wasnt going the way it was with the ladies. Either he was too shy, down right lame, or just couldnt control the situation when it came to the opposite sex. Oh, its a different ball came now, and a part of him wants to relive those younger days, and it starts with that much younger lady he meets during a night out with the fellas. He approaches you with your girls full of life and buys drinks. It doesnt matter if you are taken, hell, "Fuck what ya man do, I can take care of you, ya kids, and ya man too" is the mentality he has so that is what he has going for him. he is established, and he admires that you are "about your business" and he would like to provide some insight. seeing as that he has been through situations provides that point of view that is benefitial to the younger female, and the void of him not being able to handle business when he was your age fills that void.
Im going to leave this with a few gaps because there is so many ways that this can play out, but i will leave with this......If a man is professionally and financially established, WHAT IN THE FUCK can a younger woman provide, especially if he is marriend. yeah yeah I know, he married, but the young chick is his getaway, or she eases his mind off of the bullshit. Yeah fucking right!!! If he was in fact a REAL man, he would know how to take care of everything that is every needed between him and his wife whether it be mentally, physically, and emotionally. Sounds to me he settled down because he didnt want to be alone and found someone to satisfy that, but still wants to be a player. Now let me be clear, I know these older guys dating younger chicks isnt about intimacy eventhough sometimes it may be, but thats not the reason for spending money. I guess people have or do things that truly make them feel as if they are doing something and "handling business".
Now this brings me back to my earlier but seemingly pointless opening scenario, how can young men be more of an interest to these wonderful women in the same age range, when there is an ignorance when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, or as stated earlier a lack of confidence, when the much older established TAKEN man is making moves on that same woman? That brings me back to my initial point, why is he out playing "the game" when he has a wife, or has a girlfriend. Why isnt this seemingly successful, strongminded older man not instilling some sort of view or logic into these younger men who only have Pacman Jones and Gucci Mane to look up to. Now granted there are your Commons and your John Legends, but young guys today arent trying to be on that type of level, they all concerned about having "swag"(this word is so fucking played out and I wish people would stop using it)or a phone full of "hoes". These old heads need to step up and be REAL real men and have some sort of positive effect on the younger generation instead of just messing things up.
Notice that I didnt mention how I felt about the young woman and how she reacted or felt because there is a much bigger issue within that story.
Hope I provided enough to atleast spark some kind of flame to the thought process. Take Care!!!!
Chrissy poo u r a handful. I knew u were gonna chop me down legs first. I love the way u mentioned that its not always about intimacy... I forgot to mention that. I'm just so confused on y someones confidence level wouldn't b high enough to approach me. I'm not a mean person and I'm very approachable. One day I may open my eyes and realize that my first love might b meant to b my last... mmwwuuaahhh!!!
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